By Karen Toney
Women’s Ministry Coordinator                                         

I was out on cross-country trails not long ago, doing my version of exercise.  I usually take headphones or some other way to keep my mind occupied, but that morning my goal was different.  I wanted to designate that time to pray. As I finished up, I heard the bells toll from the Davidson College Presbyterian Church tower.  And I thought how odd.  Not odd that they were chiming, but odd at how clear they were and I even noticed them.

And these thoughts came to me.  Those bells are like God’s voice in my life.  Those bells go off twice an hour, every day.  Yet, so many times, I don’t even notice them.  Maybe I’m too busy.  Maybe my mind is too full of junk to make room for the sound and beauty.  Or maybe I’m not listening for them.  And it came to me ; That is God’s voice in my life.  Is it He’s not there or I just don’t hear Him?  Just because I don’t hear the bells, doesn’t mean they aren’t ringing.  Just because I don’t “hear” God, doesn’t mean He’s not speaking to me.

Scripture says He will never leave us nor forsake us.  That He is an ever-present help in our time of need.  He is our Strong Tower and Mighty Fortress.  And yet, we can’t seem to hear Him. Is that your reality?  You pray, and yet, still suffer.  You seek the Lord, and the pain is still there in the morning.  You ask God for direction, and the silence is deafening.  You feel He’s quiet and sometimes He is, but are you really listening for Him?  Are you afraid of the answer He might give you?  Are you tuning Him in?  A friend calls it “dialing God in on the dial”.  Instead of tuning into W-CRAP, we should dial our minds to W-GOD.  Ok, really goofy I know.  But it’s more true to me every day.  God does speak to us.  Why can we not hear Him?  Are you listening?  Are you looking for Him in the wind and the earth quakes?  Or are you finding Him in that still small voice?

Today, are you hearing the church bells for the first time?  What are they saying to you?  Is He showing you something?  Is it for you or for someone else in your life?  Does it seem crazy?  Does it matter?  Don’t fear what others will think.  God gave me a vision of mushrooms once; mushrooms and secrets.  I knew it had to be from God because it was just so darn crazy.  And that word was for my church.  It took me 2 months to get up the courage to share it.  But the great thing was it was from God, because people came up to me afterwards and said it spoke to their heart.  YEAH!!!!!

God speaks to us through His Word.  And sometimes, He uses us, His Body, to speak to each others.  Does He want you to call someone and encourage him or her today?  Has someone been on your heart, and you just don’t know why?  It’s when we look outside ourselves and our own circumstances (which are hard, and ugly, difficult and yes, even cumbersome) and reach out to others that God’s heart is shared.  His heart for the lost, the lonely and the tired.  What are the bells you never noticed dying telling you?

I encourage you all, no matter where you are in your walk, to stop and listen for the tower bells, and hear what God wants to speak to you today.  He loves you so much He sent His only Son, to be the sin offering for us all.  He can’t love you any more than He already does, and He refuses to Love you any less. He wants to become real to you.  He wants to be more than just words on a page, or a building you walk into once a week.  He wants to be alive and real IN you and THROUGH you.  I thank the Father that He wants real relationship with all of us and He will pursue us until it comes to fruition.

By Jim Katsoudas, Executive Director, Clean Heart Ministries    

     “How does God heal a person from homosexuality?” is a question that is often asked.  I don’t believe sexual healing to be a one time event. I believe it is a process of healing that takes place.  This is not to say that you will never experience an event in life that reflects that major changes or healing has happened.  For some it may be that God removed a major strong hold in life to help you begin the process or journey of change. It may be a major shift in your thinking about sexuality or brokenness like, “maybe I can change”, “maybe I was not born this way”, and “maybe God has something more for me than homosexuality”. I believe healing happens much as our sanctification happens – it’s a process as we live out our lives as Christians. 

            After almost 14 years of ministering and working with men overcoming their homosexual struggles, I have seen God do major and miraculous changes in their lives through this journey of healing.  The world in which we live and your daily journey through life provides God with the best laboratory for Him to do the great healing He desires for you. Healing from your homosexual struggles brings many changes in your life in both thinking and behavior. Cognitively you may think, “I am tired of living this way” or maybe “there has got to be more to my identity than just my sexual experiences and behavior”. Maybe you have come to the decision that homosexuality and Christianity are incompatible. The journey you’re on allows for God to perfect His awesome plan for your life.  

                Let’s say you begin to think about making changes in your life – to your sexual identity. You begin to set out to change. For some you buy books to guide your change and you promise yourself and God you will never act out sexually again. Your intentions are honorable and in your heart you really mean not to ever act out again, but then all of a sudden WHAM!  It hits you, that overwhelming desire to physically connect with another person. Then despite your best intentions, you fall sexually.

                Healing from homosexuality is for many what Paul speaks of in his Epistle to the Galatians; Galatians 5:17: “For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.” They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. We all have desires.  Some desires may not be considered evil but the many desires of the flesh are often corrupt when they come from the rebellious and sinful nature that Paul speaks of.

            Healing from homosexuality may be an attitude change or a new of way of thinking. I remember during my own journey out of homosexuality that I would try to convince myself homosexual behavior was ok; maybe God did not really mean it was sinful. 1 Corinthians 13:11 help me to change my attitude and faulty thinking.  “When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.” Putting away childish things means growing up. A young child is very self-centered and their desire is to have what they want even if it’s harmful to themselves or others. Also this verse points to a new way of thinking – to no longer think with the “me” attitude.  It was like trying to get a desire met in the wrong way even after I knew what God said about it. We must make the decision to grow up. We must take responsibility to change the things we can change and depend on God to do the rest.

            Sometimes a person comes to our ministry thinking they hold a key to the back door of escape. They think if it gets too tough or uncomfortable they can leave. Their key is not a key to freedom but often a key to a longer and harder journey filled with rebellion, sorrow and disbelief.  Some of you veer off the path for a while, but then decide to get back on when it is convenient to getting back on course.  However, you often deal with remorse for wasted time and empty encounters.  For others this is where the lies begin to take root; the lies that “maybe I was born gay!”, “maybe there is a gay gene”. Please hear this loud and clear: There is no scientific evidence that points to a homosexual gene – nor does God desire for some to be gay! There is no proof of homosexuality being inborn. Many tests and research have taken place to try to prove a gay gene theory, but all have come back as inconclusive. For many of us who are walking the journey, we have come to understand as Christians that God’s decrees and laws supersede science. God’s Word is solid, it has not changed, despite what many may believe. Men translating and twisting the scriptures to fit into their belief systems and ideologies as been around for thousands of years – it is called deception.  

      
            However, there is 2000 year old evidence that homosexuality is a sin like any other sin and can be treated and healed like any other sin. The Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, a church in the midst of sinful living, sexual sin and rebellion, a community engulfed in total lascivious living filled with all kinds of idolatry.  1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Paul writes to the church at Corinth as both an encouragement and warning. “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (Emphasis added.)

            We know that trying to do this alone can be too much. It’s hard and can be a lonely journey. That is why Clean Heart and other ministries like us exist. We are here to walk with you, to give you guidance, encouragement, and accountability as you walk away from your homosexuality. Many of us have experienced the same journey. We know that overcoming sexual sin is very difficult to do alone. We know what it’s like to pick up a telephone and dial the number of few times only to hang up before leaving one of the hardest messages – asking for help. Maybe you plan to send an email but delete it before sending it. We understand the flood of emotions running through your body and mind as you are contemplating asking for help.

                                       
             The change and healing that God has planned for you He has planned with much care and detail; He has designed it specifically for you. He knows how to heal you, He knows your personality, He is the one who created you. For true lasting change to take place it happens in a heart that is humbled and honest.  You are humbled to the God who knows everything and every thought about you and from you; humbled to those who are there to minister to you, who have been where you are.  They know what you are facing and they know how to walk with you in this process of change. Being honest with your feelings, your thoughts and behavior is an essential part to receiving any kind of counsel or help.

            A person healing from homosexuality is also on a spiritual journey. The more you surrender to God in your healing the deeper your relationship with God grows. You become more dependent upon God and less dependent upon man. You begin to see and understand the “Father’s heart” of God. His love becomes more real and tangible. You begin to see the sin and confusion in your life fall away. Your eyes become open more and more to the truth of God’s design for sexuality and relationships. You begin to see maybe for the first time, that you can change and life can be different.  Romans 8:14: “because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.”